Suffering from empathy.

February 24, 2016 Rebekah E. Goodall 2 Comments

Sometimes I wish I couldn't feel.

The amount of things that are a big deal to me is more than what other people have.

This means I can't be friends with intense people.

It drains me.

The human heart is very powerful, it can create good, and it can create bad.

I know the difference when I am near a person, and if it's bad I don't feel comfortable.

Being aware of my own sensitivity is something I have had to learn.

Being empathetic means that you take on whatever another person is feeling.

Sometimes you won't even know you are doing it.

I have a certain friend who is often very intense to be around.

And that friendship, for my own health, may have very well come to a close.

She is like a fairy; those creatures are so small they can only feel one emotion at a time.

Only excitement. Or Pain.

Only contentment. Or want to be helpful.

It drives me nuts.

Because I can't be around here without feeling what she is putting out into the world.

There is already enough pain and confusion in the world.

I have enough of my own anxieties.

I just wanted to write this to ask you are omitting emotions onto other people who do not need your pain?

Or are you a highly empathetic person taking on other people's emotions without giving permission.

There is a very well-known saying that I am referring to: No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

But I disagree with this statement. What if you never knew that you have your door open to all of the feelings of the people around you?

This is part of growing up; Self-awareness.

You need to know what you are feeling and why you are feeling it.

I was told after a recent episode with my friend, the fairy, to not let her ruin my day.

Some of us do not have that choice.

This has us made to believe that we are weak if we do let others have an effect on us.

But I promise there is nothing wrong with you if your own heart is hurt by the words and actions and emotions of others.

That is only something to look after. Give yourself grace. You are not wrong to feel.

But about that open door; that empathy that makes you feel other people's emotions...

In the right environment and in the right relationships it helps you to be a great friend.

It could one day help you to be an amazing mother.

You are a true caregiver.

But you should maybe try to limit how many cares you give out. You shouldn't give them to the wrong people.

And you need to save some for yourself.

I hope this has been informative, for both highly empathetic persons, and for others who are in close relationships with empathy-driven people - who you love, but sometimes don't understand.

If you want to talk more about any of this I would be glad to. Comment below or email:


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  1. To be completely honest, I agree and disagree with you. I too was hyper sensitive to things people said and how people felt and spent most of my life putting them first but although we cannot always know if someone is going to hurt us, once it happens we can then choose how we deal with it from there. So if someone hurts us once, but then we let them stay around and they hurt us again, we have given them permission to do so.

    The hardest thing to do is to walk away from an unhealthy situation. And that situation may be unhealthy because of the other person, but it can also mean we ourselves are unhealthy and are taking on too many of the world's problems and for that reason need to distance ourselves from others for our own self-care.

    I am sure that neither you nor your friend are "the problem" but that it simply isn't working for you (and maybe not for her either) at the moment, so I think your choice to step back is probably wise.

    Best, of luck with everything.

    Rae | Love from Berlin

    1. Thank you for your response. The answer is always different isn't it, with different people and different situations. <3